OMG WTF BBQ?

"You don't have adrenal suppression."

"These symptoms are not adrenal."

"I am not mad at you. You should not be mad at me." (I didn't say a damn thing to trigger this statement at all. I have no idea where it came from or what prompted it.)

I don't even know where to start on today's appt with the pulmo.

1. BP was 150/100. I tried to be cool, but I was very stressed. And angry, don't forget angry.

2.The whole idea that the symptoms aren't adrenal is just odd. Yes, there are differential diagnoses that could be explored but based on my previous SAI history and the current endo's opinion that I have SAI and the fact that no one is really doing anything about ruling other things in or out, there's no opportunity to entertain anything else.

There's no data either way. Until someone takes responsibility to break the stalemate, I'm sh*t outta luck.

I asked what I should do to rule out/in other things.

"Go see the other endo the PCP referred you to."

"What do I do after that? Come back to you?"

"Well..............if you need to." As in not really wanting me to come back.

WTF does that mean? Is there a plan to figure this out or not? If you don't want to buy the adrenal diagnosis, then DO something about it. Or just tell me you think I'm nuts and need Xanax, whatever, but don't leave me hanging. That is not cool.

3. Why do I have to push to get doctors to do what they said they were going to do? Why do they forget what they were going to do in between appointments? Can they not write it down?

This is a consistent problem across the board. Look, we agreed the CT scan for the lung tumor was going to be at the end of the year partly for financial reasons on my part, partly because every single other medical person I know and medical association I know says the follow-up CT scan should be at 6 months not 12.

8 months seems like a happy compromise, work with me doc. Because my family? Is not happy that you're making me wait 8 months and you do not want to go there. I don't want to go there. Order the f*cking test like you said you would and let's all hope the damn thing is gone.

Otherwise? My entire family is going to bring their very loud dysfunction to your office. I won't like that and I know you won't either.

4.Apparently the pulmo did order the cortisol test BUT I never knew about it. I don't know what happened. Maybe I missed something or if they forgot to tell me, but the last conversation I had with the pulmo before getting the current endo involved was "wait 2 weeks and then we'll test the cortisol." There was no way I could wait two weeks.

I suspect they put the order in for the test and told me "wait 2 weeks", but I didn't know I could take the test at any time.

Or I would've.

As I have alluded to time and time again. The lack of good medical care and, apparently, basic communication is going to screw me up. I have not had proper testing. I have an educated opinion with one endo, but no testing. Without testing all I am going to hear from the pulmo and likely other doctors is, "It's not adrenal."

Do you know what they do to people who might have adrenal problems and are on steroids but didn't have proper testing? They wean them cold turkey and, if that doesn't kill them, they run the blood work.

They don't care if you have a small child to care for. They don't care how much pain that causes. They don't care if it hurts or if you have to work. They don't care if you are competent to drive or that it is their dysfunction that made this mess, you get to suffer all the pain of the clean up.

F*ckers.